after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Someone signed my nipple.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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