No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
