so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
