I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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