His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
