I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
