Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
