Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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