Cold hands, warm shart.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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