She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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