Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
