I need help removing her.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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