Jerry, you need to find god
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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