This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
