Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize