Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Everyone says I win the strip club
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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