I seem to have left my pride at pride
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
