DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
