I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
