I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
