absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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