oh god the rape fog is back!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
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I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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