Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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