i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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