this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
