Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize