My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
