I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
