you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
