we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
