becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize