I'm jealous of your bromance
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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