VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
