He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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