I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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