someone get that fucking seahorse.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I am one with the molecules
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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