How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
