the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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