Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
