Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
