I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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