If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize