she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
