Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize