i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
