Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
