How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
