Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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