her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
