My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
