You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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