he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
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I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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