I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
