She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
