Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
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I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
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We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution