girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?