I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?